Holding Hands and Forehead Kisses

I lay in my bed, cradling my phone in my shaky hands, waiting for a text, missing the good days.
The distance is hard. You have a job, school, and athletics. I have school, sports, and family. One might think I'd be distracted enough to shove you out of my mind for even a few minutes but I think of you constantly.
I think about how often we could spend time tomorrow, just a message and a car ride away. We could talk and hang out and cuddle and do whatever whenever. Now I'm lucky if we even get to message for more then a few minutes here or there.
I miss being able to wrap my hands around your warm, strong body, melting into you and feeling safe. Now I clutch my phone and melt into the past, making my eyes water as I try not to cry.
I miss when our biggest problem was the day you would leave for college. Now you have gone and I can barely function without you by my side. Now I worry that some other, better girl has taken my place as yours. I still call you mine but do you call me yours?
I lay awake late into the night thinking about all the good and the bad. What you might be doing without me there, what we used to do together, and how I miss you so.
I get jealous of the couples who post pictures together everyday and of the simple things like holding hands and forehead kisses that I took for granted. Instead, I feel an interpersonal rage at the friends I see with their other half who do not realize the pain of the distance.
The tears I tried to stop creep down my hollowed cheeks as plop into the sheets near my hands, waiting for the buzz that shows you had time for me, remembered, that you maybe still care.